Curse of the Self Insert
by Odeeyou
Summary: What would really, and I mean REALLY happen if you took someone from our world and put them in the world of Gundam Wing? Chaos. Here's a healthy dose of reality to all those self insert stories.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I own the OC character of this story. You can steal him if you want, but I doubt if he's worth that much to anyone. Everything else Gundam Wing-ish does not belong to me. Enjoy.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ty sat at his computer, wracking his brain for ideas as he stared at the blank word processor on the screen.

A hobby of his was writing fan fiction or various categories. Currently, he was working on a Gundam Wing story. Or he will be, as soon as he thought up a good and original idea for a story.

He was 21, had blonde hair, was rather lean and was very plain in appearance. Currently he was a cook in the U.S. Navy and he still had no life. Watches cartoons, loves anime and writes fan fiction.

Did I mention he had no life? He also had no money, which might explain some of it. No girlfriend either.

Sad, isn't he?

There is only one thing to do to remedy this lack of writing, inspiration and general lack of life…

Self Insert.

_(Cheap horror music) Da Dun Daaahhh!_

Lightning flashed at the windows of the apartment and thunder shook the building.

"Aww crap." Ty looked up as everything in the room began to get sucked into his computer screen.

He'd seen this before and read about it too. He was obviously about to get sucked into another world, dimension, or alternate reality.

"Well, they say everyone has done a self insert at least once in their writing career." He sighed helplessly to himself. "Guess it's my turn."

With that, he and most of the contents of his room was sucked into the computer.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ty opened his eyes and found himself falling from several hundred feet in the air.

"Falling from the sky…" He thought out loud to himself. "Must be a Dragonball Z fic. They're always falling from the sky in those stories."

"Any second, one of the characters will see me and catch me before I hit the ground." He concluded. Remembering all the self insert stories he'd read on the net. Folding his arms, he made himself comfortable as he fell.

Two-hundred feet and an accelerated speed later…

"Any second now…" He mumbled to himself, slightly worried. When you saw the Earth approaching faster and faster, it was normal to be just a little anxious to be saved.

"Vegetta… Goku… Krillan… ANYBODY!" Okay, so he was wrong. Maybe it wasn't a Dragonball Z story after all. "Mommy!"

WHACK!

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Both pilots jumped and winced as the body hit the windshield with a good sounding crack.

"Cancel liftoff. And call an ambulance." The pilot turned the jet engines off to the plane. He was going to have a time explaining this to his superiors.

"Sorry, but the flight is going to be delayed." The co-pilot announced over the intercom of the plane.

"What's the problem?" A voice answered back over the com.

The two pilots looked at the still, unmoving body laying on the windshield of the plane. Slowly, they looked at one another unsurely.

"You want to tell them?" The pilot asked his co-pilot.

"Someone fell on the windshield." He blurted over the com. Unsure just how to put it any other way other than bluntly.

Silence greeted them over the com for a few minutes before anyone replied.

"Someone fell… on the windshield of the plane?" A different voice asked over the com. Sounding understandably skeptical.

"Umm… yes?" the co- pilot answered.

The person on the com gave an audible sign before the first person spoke up again. "Unconscious?" They asked.

The pilots looked at the still, unmoving body again. "Or dead." He told them. "Looks like he fell from a good distance."

"I'm coming up there." The second voice told them.

"We're not going to be blamed for this, are we?" The co-pilot asked.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Okay, let put him on the stretcher. One… Two… Three!" The paramedics lay the young man on the stretcher and began moving towards the ambulance.

"How's he look?" A police officer asked as the rolled him away.

The doctor glanced up at the sky before looking at the officer. "Two broken legs, broken arm, broken ribs, other possible hairline fractures and a concussion."

The officer whistled slowly.

"I'm surprised that he's alive at all. Witnesses say they saw him falling from several hundred feet in the air." The doctor looked at the shocked expression on the officers face.

Another officer walked up to them. "I wouldn't discount suicide, but it seems unlikely that anyone would take all the junk with them when they do." He gestured to all the various paraphernalia scattered across the highway.

"Attempted murder?" the first officer asked his partner. He nodded his head, making a note on his paperwork. "Does the guy have a name?"

"He had a wallet on him. Military I.D. and drivers license. Name, Ty Smith." He handed the wallet over to his partner. "No names or addresses of anyone we could get in contact with."

"Did you check all the stuff scattered about?" The first officer asked as he skimmed through the wallet. 'Huh? American money?'

"Yes sir. That's another thing…" the officer was unsure just how to bring this one up. "We also found these." He handed over some photos he'd picked up from a binder.

"Gundam?" He looked shockingly at the photos before they were pulled from his fingers.

"This matter has now become top-secret and everything you find here is classified information. You will tell no one of tonight proceedings. This case will now be taken care of by the Preventors. Is that understood?"

"Yes madam!" The both saluted.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"How did this happen? HOW THEY HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!" Lady Une stormed through the Preventors building. Anyone in her path quickly jumped out of the way while Captain Noin hurried to keep pace with her.

Une flipped through the papers handed to her. Papers with information that NO ONE aside from the Preventors should have.

"Model number XXXG-01W. Code Name: Gundam Wing. Unit Type: Variable Mobile Suit. Manufacturer: Dr. J. Operator: Pilot Code Name Heero Yuy. Role Out: AC 195. Dimension: Head Height 16.3 meters. Dry weight: 7.1 Metric tons, mass gross weight unknown. Construction: Gundanium Alloy on semi monocoque frame. Powerplant: Ultracompact fusion reactor, output rating unknown. Performance ability levels: Fighting 130, Weapons 140, Speed 150, Power 120, Armor 130."

Lady Une turned around and waved the papers frantically and menacingly in front of Noin. "You want to tell me how this guy knows more about the Gundams than WE DO!"

Noin winced at the lecture she was getting. At least the others would be getting one too, as soon as they got everyone together. Sure, information leakage was expected in every organization no matter how proficient. But an information leakage THIS large, said information only a handful of people alive knew… something was wrong here.

"The Gundam Heavyarms was created by the L3 colony cluster. Designed for long range attacks, this Gundam is packed with guns and missiles from head to foot. The Heavyarms primary weapon is the lethal beam gatling worn over its left hand, supplemented by homing missiles in its shoulders, micro missiles on its legs, and gatling guns concealed inside its chest. When its exhausted of its ammunition, the Heavyarms must fall back on the small knife mounted on its forearm."

Lady Une glared over the papers as she stormed into her office slamming the papers down with a force that Noin was surprised the desk didn't break under the pressure. But apparently General Noin want finished yet.

"Pilot of Gundam Sandrock. Quatre Raberba Winner. At time of war: Age: 15. Ethnic Origin: Arabian. Place of Origin: L4 colony cluster. Height: 156 cm. Weight: 41 kg. Eye color: Blue. Hair color: Platinum. The Gundam Sandrock was created at the L4 colony cluster, using the resources of the wealthy Winner family."

"DO YOU REALIZE THE CHAOS THAT WOULD ENSUE IF THIS INFORMATION WERE TO BECOME PUBLIC!" Une screamed off the top of her lungs and she dug through the paperwork on the desk. All the while caught between glaring at everything within sight.

"HELL! THEY EVEN HAVE INFORMATION ON ME! INCLUDING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH TRIEZE AND THE TIME I PILOTED GUNDAM 01 DURRING THE HEAT OF BATTLE!"

Noin's eyes widened as she realized something else she never thought of before. "We never did retrieve the remains of 01 from space after the final battle." She mumbled to herself. But evidently she was heard, judging by the glare she was receiving from Une.

"You did NOT have to remind me of that right now." She dropped the papers she was holding and hit her head on the desk repeatedly. Maybe if she ignored it, it would all go away.

After a few minutes of head banging, she sat up strait, slightly more collected as she looked at the papers. A small booklet caught her eye amongst the papers. Picking it up, she nearly dropped in shock at its title. "Gundam Wing. Technical Manual?"

"We're in trouble, aren't we?" Noin asked as she walked up to the desk and flipped through the papers curiously, as well as the manual. "Wow. Look at this. Some of these Gundam Models I've never even heard of."

"Where is the man now?" She asked as she shoved all of the papers and booklets into the desk. Not wanted to even look at them right now, let alone organize everything.

"He's currently in the Preventor Hospital on the Second floor. Guard shift is on him 24/7. Although the doctors said he's going to be out of it for a long while." Noin handed over the file they had on this person.

"Have you checked out his military I.D.? His name?" Une dug through the file of the man. Not a whole lot was recorded on him at all.

"I've contacted the U.S. government. Of course they are completely denying his existence. Though evidence shows the I.D. was probably a false anyway." Noin answered her.

"Ty Smith…" Une muttered under her breath as she read the file. "Too generic sounding for my taste. Nothing really to be gained from it, although the first name might be his actual name. We'll have to test it out later."

"Conclusion to his appearance shows that he was probably pushed out of a plane and assumed for dead." Noin handed over the police report, and grinning to the expected look she was getting from his superior.

"Pushed out of a plane, where he just happened to land on a plane that coincidentally held not only Preventor personnel but also the Foreign Minister? Assumed dead when it would be much more convenient to just shoot him in the head? And then throw all the information out of the plane with him?" Lady Une glared.

"It's the best lead we've had." Noin shrugged when another idea came to mind. "Perhaps he jumped?" She suggested.

Une nodded her head. "Now there's a definite possibility." She went over all possibilities in her head. "Perhaps not suicide, but a desperate chance for escape."

"If there's a chance that he's running from someone, then there's a chance that someone is still following him. Perhaps for this very information." Things just went from very bad, to worse. "I want him moved to a more secure location. As few people as possible are to know the location."

"Done." Noin saluted before leaving the office. First thing was first though. She had to gather all the pilots and everyone else. They were going to have a long meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: If you've heard it once, you've heard it 24,682 times before. I do not own Gundam Wing. Ty Smith knows this as well.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The five pilots were gathered. As well as Zechs, and Sally Po. They were currently situated in the conference room, where they had spent the better half of the week making sure was secure before the conference. Not that it mattered anymore…

As Noin walked into the room with lady Une, she looked over to Heero Yuy. His hacking abilities and information gathering was legendary and put him in situations where he was privileged to information before anyone else.

One thing Noin was sure about, after reading the expression on his face, was that not even he knew about this. If these people were able to obtain this information without even Heero finding out, who knew what other information they were privileged too. And that was a truly frightening thought.

"So, Une babe. Why have you called this little reunion?" Duo grinned at they walked in. But quickly lost the grin at the glare he received and the serious expression on Noin's face.

Lady Une sighed. "There has been a leak of information." She paused. Looking at each of the people in the room in turn. "Detailed information about the Gundam's, and detailed information about all of us. Personal information. Our family and history."

There were a few gasps in the room, and a few hardened stares. "Its obvious the leak hasn't come from anyone in this room. The information is too detailed and too personal. We even found a few recorded conversations scripted on paper." She looked at Heero. "A first mission."

Heero's hands tightened into fists while on the table as his expression became grim. Something that people rarely saw in the Perfect Soldier. "How? How could they know about that? Could they have been there the whole time? Since before the war even began?" He ground out.

Zechs nodded his head. "That could be a definite possibility. Perhaps someone behind the scene's from the very start? Maybe even the cause of everything." He pondered to himself while everyone else was still getting over the shock.

"What kind of personal information are we talking about?" Quatre asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. Information too detailed or too personal brought to the public could destroy the peace and the Preventers.

Lady Une looked at Duo. "You're relationship with one Hilde Schbieker. Someone I should have been notified that knew the Gundam pilots." She was glad to see him squirm under her glare. Telling him it was time to get serious.

"Heero's training regimens, Trowa's past affiliations with the Mercenaries, WuFei's deceased wife." She paused, noting the shocked and angered expression on the Chinese man's face. "How Quatre was not only the one who financed Gundam Sandrock's construction, but also built the original Wing Zero, and destroyed several colonies with it." Quatre's pale face was truth enough of the statement. "Relena's feelings towards Heero Yuy. How Mariemaia survived even though she was declared dead by the Preventers officially."

Silence was deadening in the room before Duo spoke up, describing the whole situation with a single word. "Shit."

"It gets better." Noin added, taking a seat at the table, where before she had been standing and reading the expressions on everyone. By the silence, she had guessed that the information had been accurate. Perhaps a little too accurate.

"Schematics of all the Gundam's, before and after customs. General information and a technical manual. Photos of both Gundam and pilots, photo's that were decidedly other than in the heat of battle." She laid down a thick folder on the table. "This is only a quarter of the information we retrieved."

"There might be a few factions that have information on the Gundam's. But no one aside from the Preventers should have this kind of information. Some of this information we didn't even know about until we came across it."

Heero pulled the folder over to himself. Skimming through it until his eyes widened considerably to the point where everyone was worried. "…Is this?"

Lady Une nodded her head. "Schematics for Gundam's and Mobile Suits we've never even seen, let alone heard of."

"Are we talking about another war?" WuFei asked. The idea was enough to send chills down everyone's spine.

"Allah, I hope not." Quatre muttered.

"Where did this information come from?" Trowa took the file from Heero and began going through it. This information was very detailed. In fact, he had yet to find a flaw in any of it.

"We have reason to believe it came from somewhere in the U.S. Government. Though we have yet to find any conclusive proof. The information dropped on us, quite literally." She continued and went on to tell them of the man that had landed on the Foreign Minister's plane.

"We have no record of him. Our only lead was a U.S. Navy I.D. by the name of Ty Smith. He is currently unconscious and in a secure location. We think most likely he was running with the information and jumped from a plane. A desperate chance for escape most likely."

"Can we interrogate him?" Heero was the first to ask. If information like this was out, they had to gather and destroy it as soon as possible. Not only could the existing factions use this information to they're gain, but many people held no love for the Gundam pilots either.

Lady Une shook her head. "Like I said, he is unconscious and in a coma, of which the doctors are unsure if he will come out of. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Do not go looking for this man, Yuy. The fewer people that know about this the better." Glaring at all of them, they reluctantly nodded in consent.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Unaware that he had just been bought some time, Ty awoke felling quite literally like he'd been trampled on by a herd of stampeding Elephants.

Sunlight was peaking through the window, making him squint as he became more awake and regretted every second of it. "Where's a sensu bean when you need one?" He groaned to himself.

He was laying in a very large bed, in a very luxurious room. Silk sheets and a mink blanket on a large four poster bed, fine crafted furniture, private bathroom no doubt and a beautiful landscape behind the windows.

He might have taken a moment to enjoy it had he not been focused on the intense pain he was feeling. "Owwee!" It didn't take him long to figure out that 90 percent of his body was in some type of pain.

"Toes…check. Fingers, fingers…check. Arms are check. Legs are check." Glad to see all of his appendages were still there was. "Legs, arm, and chest in bandages, check. Full bladder…check." Great. Not only was in a considerable amount of pain, but he had to use the bathroom.

As if reading his thoughts, Ty smiled as people walked through the door. A few house maid's and an old looking man. He didn't care who they were so long as they got him out of the situation he was in.

"You there come over here." He motioned the man towards him, who was too surprised to see him conscious to argue with him. "That's right, come over here, you two," he pointed at the maid's. "Come here, come on."

Once they crowded near the bed, he struggled with the blanket with his good arm and motioned to them anxiously. "Pull the covers off me. Just don't stand there, pull the covers off me!" He shouted at a maid, who quickly complied.

Yanking the covers from he, he was somewhat relieved to see he was at least wearing a pair of boxers. Trying to ease the pain as much a possible, he hopped and slid towards the edge of the bed. Glaring when he saw the people were still doing nothing.

"Get me out of the bed." He told the butler, who moved forward to try and steady him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Help me up!" He told him, getting fairly exasperated. Were these people dense or what!

Standing unsteadily, he glared at the maid's and butler who were staring at him stupidly. "What are you waiting for! Lets move out! Move it or lose it! You want a big puddle on your nice carpet? No? THEN LETS GOGOGOGOGO!" He shoved them out of the way.

The maid's and butler could only stare in disbelief as the injured man hobbled as quickly as he could strait towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. A few minutes later, a flush was heard.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The butler sighed as he stepped out of the bedroom and walked to the nearest phone. He'd seen a lot of strange things in his days, but he was at a lack of what to do in this situation.

Dialing the number, he waited patiently for an answer.

"_Yes?"_

"He's awake, madam." He told her.

The person on the other line sighed. _"Good. At least he isn't in a coma. Is he still conscious?"_

"Negative, madam. He's passed out."

"_Very well. Call me when he is awake again."_

"There's a problem…madam." This is where things got difficult.

"_What's the problem?"_

"He's passed out, madam." He told her again.

"_I don't see the problem."_

"He's passed out… in the bathroom. Madam." He winced slightly in prelude to whatever came next. Somehow, he felt it wasn't going to be pretty.

By the silence, he wasn't sure if she was still on the line or had hung up on him. _"Might I enquire as to just why you allowed an injured man to go to the bathroom when you could have just as easily provided him with a bed pan?"_

The butler rubbed the back of his neck. "He was very insistent… madam."

"_If this were happening to anyone else, this would be really funny."_

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ty awoke again, feeling decidedly better than he had earlier. Light was still coming in the windows so he wasn't sure how long he had been out of it. Looking around the room, he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Damn it, must be Quatre's mansion. They always end up in Quatre's mansion." He mumbled to himself. The place was nice but he really didn't want to be here if this should follow all the self insert stories. In the mean time, he had to figure out what to do now and what was to happen.

He winced as another thought came to mind. "I better not be expected to fall for one of the Gundam pilots or else I'm going to be really ticked. Not necessarily disgusted, but still very ticked."

With that, the bedroom door opened. He looked to it expectantly, chocking for a moment when he saw who it was. Dropping his head back on the pillow, he groaned. "I take it back! Give me Quatre!"

"Hello, I'm Relena Darlian." She looked slightly curious to the young man lying in the bed. She heard him mumbled something about Quatre. Making her wonder what affiliation this guy had with the Preventers.

"I know who you are, Miss Foreign Minister. Not many people who don't." Of course your character bashing is legendary. He thought to himself.

Behind her, standing at the door, where two men with hand guns holstered at their hips. They were most likely her guards or something. No Heero Yuy around today it seemed. They seemed to be eyeing him suspiciously.

"And who might you be?" Relena asked after a few moment of silence. It appeared he wasn't going to introduce himself as she saw varying expressions go across the man's face.

"Ty Smith." He said after a minute. He was trying to figure out just what the hell was happening. Thus far things were not happening as he would have expected them to in a normal self insert story. Something was wrong here.

After collecting his thoughts somewhat, he stuck out his good arm to shake hands with her when the two guards stiffened noticeably. Shaking her hand, he kept his eyes on the guards. "Come on, I'm not going to bite her." He told them. "Are your body guards always like that? And where is Heero? I thought he usually protected you?"

"Those are you body guards, and Heero is currently at the Preventors." She told him without thinking. Judging how he knew Heero protected her, she assumed he had something to do with the Preventors.

She was not included in the debriefing at the Preventors over the situation. All that she knew was that this guy was in need of protection from people who were looking for information or something to that effect. The man blinked slowly at her.

"My body guards? What do I need body guards for?" He asked. Watching Relena's own confused expression on her face.

"Because of the people that are after you, of course. Why else would you have jumped out of the plane and landed on mine if not to escape?" She asked. But the man only continued to look more confusedly at her.

"Plane? I've never jumped out of a plane before in my life. Although I've always wanted too." He mumbled to himself. 'Wait… that must be the plot of this story!' He decided to himself. 'I should probably just flow with it. All self inserts are confused the first few chapters.'

Relena looked dubiously at the man. 'Did he mention wanting to jump out of that plane?' She wondered to herself. She would call the doctor later on. See what the possibilities are of brain damage when he fell.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would just like to say thank you for the reviews I got. Honestly, I'm shocked that I got any at all. The title and summary are enough to send anyone screaming into the hills. "Thank you!"


	3. Chapter 3

"_Oh, what sad times these are when passing ruffians can say 'Ni' at will to old ladies. There is petulance upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who bother with Disclaimers are under serious economical trade." The young man shook his head sadly at them._

"_Did you say Disclaimers?" Duo asked cautiously._

"_Yes. I am an author. My name is Adrelliehs The Author. I arrange, design, and write Disclaimers." The young man informed them._

"_Ni!" WuFei yelled at him._

"_NO! Nonono! No!" Duo held WuFei back._

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing, the characters of Gundam Wing, or the places in which the story takes place. I take credit for my own original character.

_A few moments later…_

"_Oh, FanFiction Administrators who say 'Ni', we have gotten your Disclaimer. May we go now?" Duo asked the administrators, who stood high above their own heads and loomed over them predatorily._

_The Administrators looked up thoughtfully at the Disclaimer. "It is a good Disclaimer. One I like particularly. But there is one small problem." He told Duo and WuFei._

"_What's that?" Duo wondered as he looked back at the Disclaimer._

"_We are no longer the FanFiction Administrators who say 'Ni.' We are now…the FanFiction Administrators who say… icky icky ikcy pootang roo boing hamnnmph. Ni!" The people informed Duo and WuFei uneasily. "Therefore, you will have a test."_

"_What is this test oh FanFiction Administrators… who until recently said 'Ni'?" Duo asked cautiously. He didn't think this was really fair but he didn't have much choice but to listen._

"_You must find…" The Administrator paused for dramatic effect. "Another Disclaimer!"_

_DUUUHHNN! (Dramatic Music)_

"_Not another Disclaimer…" Duo groaned._

"_Then, when you have found the Disclaimer, you must put it just below the other Disclaimer so we have a two level effect with a little path going through the middle." The Administrator explained haughtily. _

"_A path! A path!" The other Administrators spoke gleefully._

It is just I, or is that a frighteningly realistic view point as to how the administrators of this site expect authors to post their work? Failure, ninety percent of the time resulting in deleted fics or account closure?

Oh, and just so I don't get harassed about it, I don't own Monty Python either.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

CLICK

"Who are you and who do you work for?" A cold, hard voice spoke.

Ty, upon being awakened by the barrel of a handgun pointed squarely between his eyes, could only nearly wet himself. And for an understandable reason, uttered the first thing that came from his throat. Which sounded remarkably like a dieing chicken.

Heero, after being briefed of the information leakage, decided he'd best check Relena's security in light of this new unknown threat.

Imagine his surprise when he found there very person he wanted to interrogate for answers, here in her very mansion. He may not have looked surprised at the time, but he sure as hell felt it.

He had to give Lady Une some credit. When she said he was in a secure location, she was right. The security in the palace was the best, designed by himself. He hadn't intended to find the guy so soon, but hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Before Ty could think to say something comprehendible, a rag went over his mouth and he felt himself fall unconscious.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When he woke up, he was sitting up in a chair, handcuffed, and with a blinding light in his face. Squinting through the light, he looked about to find himself in an interrogation room. What he guessed was a two-way mirror stood on the other side of the small room.

Standing at the door were three figures. All of them recognizable, but only one was he worried about at that very moment. Heero stood, flanked by Duo and Quatre.

The three imposing figures walked up to him. Under the bright light he was beginning to sweat. "What the hell is going on! This is not how self inserts are supposed to go!" he mumbled weakly to himself, eyeing Heero's handgun, which was resting comfortably in his hand.

'Okay Ty, what have we learned from other self insert stories?' He thought quickly to himself in impending doom. 'They never believe you in claiming that you are from another world. Only option: lie, and make it good.'

As they approached him, he felt himself begin to falter. "I'm gonna get shot." He mumbled weakly to himself as he began to fidget uselessly with his handcuffs.

"Don't worry." Quatre told him assuringly. "Heero said he wasn't going to kill people anymore."

"That doesn't mean I'm not gonna get shot!" Ty exclaimed, watching as Heero smirked for a moment before putting his stone faced mask in place.

Heero pointed his gun at the young man, whose eyes darted around the room. When the young mans eyes fell on his, it was safe to say he knew very well who he was, if that last statement was anything to go by.

"Who are you and who do you work for?" Heero asked coldly, the guy looked about to crack already. And here he had thought the guy was perhaps a soldier or an agent of some sort. How else could he have gotten away with the information?

"Okay! I'm from the future!" Ty exclaimed, spewing out the first idea that came to mind. He regretted it instantly, but hey, he'd already said it. Might as well roll with it. "And all of this is all unclassified… and I just… happen to be… an expert… on it all?" He asked with a hopeful look.

Duo, Quatre, and even Heero all stood opened mouthed at the young man. As that had to be the worst made up lie they had ever heard in their career as soldiers. Which was saying something, considering all the times they had been interrogated themselves by the enemy and had interrogated others.

Only a few seconds passed, although with the silence it felt like hours. Finally, Duo broke down laughing on the floor so hard he was rolling with tears running down his face.

Heero ignored Duo and glared at the young man. Glad to see him squirm under his glare, but disappointed that he hadn't gotten the information he wanted right away. If he knew who he was, he should know it was suicide to try evading the truth like that.

"Where did you get the information?" Quatre was the one to question this, not as cold as Heero, but still with resolve. He tried to look and see what the young man was feeling, but only got a high anxiety.

Ty looked at them confusedly. "What information?"

Duo, who had moments before only just recovered from his laughing fit, broke down again laughing and rolling on the floor.

Quatre sweat-dropped. "You claim to be from the future, that all of this is unclassified, and yet you don't know what information we're talking about?" He said disbelievingly.

Ty didn't know what the hell they were on about. He didn't know what was going on. He wasn't very far into the story yet, as he had only woken up after falling into this world. So what were they talking about? Rather than saying nothing, he opted for, "Umm… yes?"

Duo only laughed harder.

Heero glared at both the laughing Duo and the suspect in front of him. Feeling that he was getting nowhere fast, he grabbed Duo by the collar of his shirt and dragged him out of the interrogation room, followed by Quatre, who shut the door behind them.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Gotta give him credit for originality." Duo grinned after getting over his laughing fit. He himself had come up with some doosies, when coming up with false information to the enemy. But that took the cake.

Heero, clearly not amused, scowled at Duo. That guy knew something. He's never failed in an interrogation before, damn it. He wasn't about to start failing now. "Quatre, did you feel anything from him?"

Quatre was shaken from his thoughts at the question. "Well, I'm certain he knew exactly who we were when we walked in the room. After that, I only felt anxiety." He would feel it too, if he had been in that position. He wasn't going to voice that to Heero, though.

"If he knows we have the information, why is he lying to us?" Duo wondered to himself. It didn't make sense to hold out when you had nothing to really hold on too.

"Because he is our only link to wherever that information came from. If he told us, it would render him expendable." Heero explained to them. He still didn't know what to make of the young man in the other room.

He wanted to say he was a soldier. After all, it would take someone vastly skilled to get away with that much information. But then, thus far, the man hadn't shown any sign of being skilled in anything. Not to mention poor military bearing for someone in the Navy.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ty wiggled in his chair anxiously. They would be back soon and they wanted answers. Answers that they wouldn't believe, even if he gave them to them. He was starting to hate this Self Insert story.

Absently, he noticed his broken arm and legs hurt considerable less over the past few days. He didn't know if medical science had improved in the future or if people just healed quicker in the cartoons. He was inclined to believe the latter.

Healed faster… escape. He could escape. Okay, how to escape. He looked about the room. It was vacant, save the chair he was in and a large table bolted to the floor. Something else on the floor however caught his eye. Pocket change. Must have fallen out of Duo's pocket when he was laughing.

With that, an idea came to mind. A crazy idea, but hey, he was at a lack of options. "Damn it, it worked in the movies." He muttered to himself. He was thankful he noticed he wasn't handcuffed to the chair. Apparently, they considered him less of a threat while injured.

Standing up, he winced at the pain in his legs. He hoped he healed quickly by the next few chapters. Dragging the chair with his good arm, he brought it to where the pocket change lay.

He sat down on the chair, jumping slightly in it and bringing one of the legs down hard on a dime, trying to put a small, but jagged edge on it. Examining the dime, he nodded to himself before picking it up. Gritting his teeth, he stood up again and dragged the chair with him over to the mirror.

Good arm holding said dime, he scratched a large circle into the glass. Taking a deep breath, he swung the chair at the center of the circle he scratched. He swung again, and again. Three times until the glass gave way.

The three pilots stopped their discussion when they heard a loud crash coming from the interrogation room. Running inside, they saw the young man standing near the two-way mirror, where a large hole it stood.

"Thank you Sean Connery." Ty exclaimed happily to himself. Bringing the chair to the large whole he created, he jumped from the chair and through the whole into the opposite room. "HOLY SHISTA! Broken leg broken leg Broken Leg!"

"How did he do that? That's shatter proof glass." Quatre muttered to himself.

If Heero had been reluctant to believe this man to be a soldier before, those doubts were washed away now.

"Who's Sean Connery?" Duo wondered to himself.

Getting up from the floor, Ty shuffled his feet as fast as he could with his feet cuffed and out the door while the pilots followed him out the other exit. He looked for the quickest place to hide. When low an d behold…

"A Laundry Shoot! Thank you Relena!" Moving to the wall, he lifted the panel and leapt down it headfirst. "WeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaAAAAAGGGHH-"

KA-KLANG!

"Now who the hell puts a ventilation system in the wall! I mean seriously people, and in a mansion no less!" A voice echoed through the vacated hall.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Heero, Duo, and Quatre hurried down the hall way after the escapee. None of them could figure out just how and injured and cuffed man had managed to escape them so quickly. "Quatre eyed the open ventilation panel curiously. "Could he have gone down the Ventilation system?" He wondered aloud.

Heero looked at it for a moment before shaking his head. "No one is that stupid." He told them. Before continuing, he paused to look at Duo strangely for a second. "Okay, no one ELSE is that stupid."

If Quatre didn't know any better, he could have sworn that he had just heard two different indignant cries of "HEY!"


	4. Chapter 4

-1DISCLAIMER: Oh, Nothing. Nope. Not much. Nope. Not a thing.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Ty sighed. He'd been cramped in the vent for the last hour or so. He wasn't sure of the time exactly since they had taken his watch.

Okay. He told himself for the 30th time. He had three options. One: Cry for help, get rescued by the pilots, and get put right back in the same situation that he'd been in earlier. Two: Sit here and die of starvation or dehydration. Whichever came first. Three: Crawl through the vent system in hopes of finding a exit and go from there.

'Two' was obviously NOT an option. As was 'One' since if they captured him again they'd likely throw him in prison for whatever it was they thought he did. In addition to escaping Preventor personnel.

That only left option number 'Three' which he was also reluctant to do since he was pretty sure he'd re-broken his right leg. His other limbs were feeling much better though. God bless Anime healing and advanced medical science. Sally Po deserved a hug.

With another sigh, he shifted himself to crawl as quietly as he could through the vent. Didn't want to give away his position. So he army crawled through the pitch black ventilation…

… a full five feet before he felt himself sliding forward.

"Crap."

And falling head first down another vertical chute.

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Relena snuggled into the comforter of her large, and luxuriously warm bed after yet another long and boring day at work.

Days like these she wished something exciting would happen around here. Something that didn't include her kidnapping for a change.

As she began to drift to sleep, a strange rumbling noise from above brought her back to consciousness.

Idly she wondered what the mansion workers were doing up there so late in the evening. She could hear what sounded like a voice as well…

POW! "Ouch!" WHAM! "Ack!" THUD! "Ooff!" KLANG! "Shi-"

Relena's eyes widened as she heard the noises grow louder and closer and did she realize the source of said noises. Too late did she look up at the ceiling vent. Which happened to be situated right over her bed.

"Oh no." She muttered.

CRASH!

The vent cover went flying as a large and heavy something came falling directly on top of her. Knocking the both of them unconscious. Neither of them knew more.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Heero growled as he proceeded to check the mansion for the man for the fifth time… at 7:30 in the morning. He was sure the man had escaped. Heero just wanted to know how? How did he get past HIS security system! It wasn't possible! Even he couldn't manage it! And he built the damn thing!

The hallway the escaped man took to when he escaped was under surveillance by two cameras. Both on a swivel to avoid any possible blind spots. Too late did he realize one of the camera's had an imperfect flaw.

Both of the cameras were on an almost mirrored sync to where one would always be on the hallway while the other was turned. But one of them was a millisecond slow. After a building process of three hours, both camera's turned away from the hall at the same time for about 15 seconds that left the hallway un-surveillanced.

The exact moment the man had fled from the room. Heero didn't think it was coincidence. But how did they man know about it if even Heero had overlooked it? Better question was where had he gone too?

Following behind Heero in his search through the mansion were two walking zombies. That is to say, behind him was a very tired Quatre and Duo.

With the war being over for a few years now, they were not ashamed to say that hey could sleep past six a.m. in the mornings. Unlike some perfect soldiers.

"Come on, Heero." Duo yawned before continuing and glaring at the sun streaming through the windows. "We'll call Lady Une. Have a search party come and scope the place out. Find out how he got out and went-"

Duo's eyes widened as he suddenly became very awake. As did Quatre. Even Heero's eyes widened slightly in realization.

And it was a very frightening realization that came to them. Lady Une was not going to be pleased about the suspects escape. She would be even angrier that she had not been notified immediately. Not including the fact that they shouldn't even be there. Add that to her already stressed mood.

No one looked forward to calling Lady Une that morning.

Heero continued forward. Ignoring the growing lump in his throat at the thought to telling Une the not so good news. "Let me make a stop by Relena's quarters first. She should have been up by now."

Quatre nodded. "Lets hurry before Duo falls asleep standing. He nodded toward his long haired friend standing behind him who was-

"Znnorgllrorgg…" Duo snored, his head lying limply to his chest. Heero slapped him on the side of the head.

"Oww! What?" Duo asked with another yawn.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Heero tapped on the bedroom door "Relena? Are you awake?" he called through the door. Getting no response, he walked in. "Relena?" He called again.

Ty awoke to a light tapping noise. He was very warm and very comfortable. With that comfort he indulged that his whole Gundam Wing experience was just a dream and nothing more. With a small sigh, he shifted and snuggled into something equally warm and soft.

Strange. He didn't remember owning a body pillow? Opening his eyes, low and behold, he saw… pink. And Relena Darlian. One arm wrapped around her and her snuggling into his chest.

As if feeling the deadly gaze on him, he looked around frantically. Heero was standing at the door. A shocked and opened mouth expression on his face. An expression that was quickly turning into something to be afraid of.

Ty didn't indulge that he might come out of this situation in one piece. Never mind how he had gotten into this mess in the first place. Of which he also didn't know. Instead he tightly shut his eyes and gritted his teeth. A frightened expression on his face as he waited for what he knew to come.

Duo and Quatre leaned against one another, near moments away from falling asleep where they stood, when suddenly-

CRASH! THUNK! WHAM!

The doors to the bedroom flew open and a familiar suspect went sliding across the floor before hitting the wall on the opposite side of the hall.

Duo grinned and Quatre gaped open mouthed. "I've got to give him credit." Quatre thought out loud. Scratching his head thoughtfully "That is probably the only room in this mansion without a security camera in it."

Heero stormed out of the bedroom. A furiously cold and angry expression on his face that few if any had ever seen. Let alone lived though. A concerned Relena followed behind him.

"Just what the hell do you think you were doing in HER room, in HER bed?" Heero asked dangerously and only a note below outright screaming.

Ty was awake, but still too dazed and confused to focus on anything after having been thrown into a wall. He heard the question and said the first thing that came to mind. Once again, putting his foot in his mouth.

"Uhh… sleeping?"

Duo shook his head sadly. "Buddy, was that ever the wrong answer."

Ty didn't have a chance to think further on the situation or to ask questions as he was too busy focusing on the fist that was flying at high velocity toward his face before blackout.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Lady Une, Trowa, and WuFei sat down to do a more thorough look through of the information gained from the stranger. The idea that there was an organization behind their very eyes this whole time became increasingly likely.

Digging through the various unorganized information, Trowa shook his head negatively. "Ninety percent of the information we've gone through seems to be printed on normal computer paper. Almost everything looks to be nothing more than copies."

"Yes." Lady Une agreed as she went through the Technical Manual. "No legal documents what so ever. All of it printed hazardly as though in a hurry. Simple photos. Much of the information repeated."

"But what was he planning to do with it?" WuFei wondered aloud, looking at the mobile suit models he'd never seen before. "Weather he was working for this organization or even was, there is not much to be gained by this information except possible public exposure…" WuFei paused in his though, not really wanting to think further on that possibility.

Judging by the expressions on Lady Une and Trowa, they felt along the same lines. Public exposure was definitely NOT something they wanted to consider. But now that it was brought up, they had to.

Lady Une sighed and picked up another folder of photos. Pulling out a stack of papers, she looked at the top photo and felt her mouth drop open slightly in surprise and curiosity. "How on earth did they manage this photo?" She wondered aloud.

Trowa leaned over and looked at the photo. "That was when Heero had self destructed his Gundam." he stated. Also curious how they had managed such a photo shot.

WuFei looked over Une's shoulder at the photo. "Freaky." He commented.

They looked at the photo of Heero, laying on the ground. A blank expression in his eyes and blood leaking from his skull. Jagged pieces of hot metal around him from the explosion blast radius. And looking very dead.

A CD case fell from the stack of papers in her hand. Catching everyone's attention. "How is it that we missed that?" Une wondered, picking it up to avoid scratching it further. The words GW Bootleg 1-10 was written on the plain white cover. "What does Bootleg mean?"

Trowa took the CD from her hand. "Think of it as meaning illegal or unofficial copy." Reaching behind him, he pulled out a lap top computer and sat it in front of him.

Une scratched at her head confusedly wondering the logic at that. "It its illegal or unofficial, why would they write illegal and unofficial on it? A CD that had classified information?"

"Perhaps the guy is an idiot?" WuFei hazarded a guess. "Hey, its possible." He argued at their dubious expressions. "Hey, isn't that Heero's laptop?" He asked, looking at the computer.

"One of them." Trowa replied. "Heero has about fifty of them. Each one with a specific purpose." he put the CD in and attempted to upload it. "If anything can open up a locked file, its Heero's computer."

Thirty minutes later…

"If anything can open up a locked file, its Heero's computer." WuFei grumbled in a mock tone of Trowa's voice. Both he and Lady Une were still standing over his shoulder.

Trowa merely raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sorry." WuFei apologized. "Without Duo around I'm suffering from argument withdraw." He explained sheepishly.

Lady Une smirked at him while Trowa only shook his head sadly. "I'm sure Duo would be touched." He said dryly. Nothing short of Heero's bad jokes could make him laugh. "I've tried everything. The computer cant seem to find anything capable of unlocking this file."

Lady Une grunted in a very Heero fashion and reached around Trowa to take the mouse and clicked on the 'My computer' icon. She half glared at him. "Unless the file isn't locked." She toned sarcastically.

Trowa resisted the urge to sweat drop while clicking on the computer file. "A video file of some sort. The computer is looking for a compatible program to play it with." He clicked through the file specifications for a couple of seconds.

"Doesn't look like the computer can find any suitable programs." Lady Une took the mouse from Trowa again, going through the file specifications herself. "I've never heard of a Media Player."

"We'll have to create one." WuFei agreed. "Unless we can find Heero again and get him to create one. That would save a lot of time." He and Lady Une sat back down again. Trowa closed the laptop and sighed.

Picking up the stack of papers Lady Une had left on the table, WuFei stopped at one particular photo, as it was his turn to be shocked and surprised. "Why is there a photo of you standing in the bathroom with Trieze in the tub?"

"WHAT!" Lady Une screeched. Snatching the paper from his hand, she looked at it in shock. "What- how- they…"

Trowa stood behind her to get a better look at the photo, where his eyebrows actually rose to his hairline in surprise. "I knew you had an informal relationship with Trieze, but that's just unprofessional."

"What exactly were your duties to Trieze again?"

"Look, a scripted conversation."

"Rose scented bath?"

Lady Une hid her head under a stack of papers. "I'm going to kill this guy." She growled, now entirely too embarrassed to want to show her face in front of the two pilots.

"Hmm. Here is a photo of Heero smiling."

"I take it back. Now THAT is freaky."

"When did he get a pet ferret?"

Maybe she was making too big a deal out of this whole embarrassing situation. Lady Une thought to herself. This wasn't Duo she was talking about. She could trust Trowa and WuFei not to embarrass her over this photo.

"I still like the bath tub photo better."

Or not.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: You know the drill.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

When he awoke, he was surprised to find himself alive. Unsurprised to find himself chained to the bed. Surprised again to find a pair of bright blue eyes on him rather than cold blue eyes.

Dropping his head back onto his pillow, he squeezed his eyes shut and heaved a great sigh. "I don't suppose you'll believe me when I say I had no idea the vent was going to drop me there?"

Relena snorted in amusement. "In my opinion the situation was far too convenient for it to happen any other way except by accident."

Heaving another sigh, this time in relief, he looked down to his re-broken leg. He wondered briefly how much of this story was going to involve him being in traction.

"So where is Soldier Boy anyway?" Ty asked, honestly surprised he hadn't woken up in the interrogation room again. Never mind why the perfect soldier would need an interrogation room in Relena's mansion in the first place.

"Heero?" She smiled at the term 'soldier boy' as it was a very apt description. "He's off supervising the mansions construction workers. Fixing such an obvious breech in security." Her voice held a mocking tone before she laughed.

This time Ty snorted in amusement.

"So why didn't you tell me you were a spy being held secure here by the preventors?" Relena became serious.

"A spy? I am? Since when?" He exclaimed with a surprise. If he was a spy in the story, people needed to tell him these things. No wonder they were all after him!

Relena looked at his expression of genuine surprise. He could be faking it, but she'd like to consider herself a good judge of character. (1)

Heero watched and listened to the exchange from the security room. Before moving the captive he had placed additional security around the room. He wouldn't escape so easily this time.

Duo leaned closer to the monitor while he listened. "Hmm. Surprise actually seems genuine." He commented, watching Relena talk to the captive.

"Quatre, you got anything?" Heero spoke over the radio.

Quatre stood outside the door to where Relena was talking to the captive. He tried to probe the guy with his empathy. Not an easy task when Relena was a veritable well of emotions.

"Nothing yet." He replied while also listening to the conversation via listening devices.

Relena shrugged, taking his words for truth. She smiled. "In any case, thanks for the spooning last night. Best sleep I've gotten in years."

Winking at him, she ignored his gob smacked expression and kissed him on the cheek before walking out.

Heero growled. The pencil in his hand that he had been taking notes with crumbled into a hundred pieces. "I'm going to kill him." He muttered.

Duo muffled a laugh as he leaned toward the monitor again. Watching as the man gave a shudder, a look of disgust on his face.

"_God, tell me that woman does NOT have a crush on me." _He gave another shudder. _"I don't know what Heero sees in that woman. Uge. What a Mary Sue."_

"**What did he call her?" **Quatre's voice spoke over the comm. System.

Heero frowned. "A Mary Sue." He replied, wondering the very same thing. "What the hell is a Mary Sue?"

Duo leaned back in his chair. Happy to know something that the other two didn't. "A Mary Sue is a term used often in writing." He explained. "It's used to describe a female person or character that is so perfect that it's enough to make you sick of reading it."

Although neither of them would voice it, both Quatre and Duo agreed full heartedly with the man in terms of Relena.

"_Now Hilde on the other hand…"_

"WHAT?" Duo exclaimed, jumping out of his seat and gaping at the man on the screen. He didn't know if he should be surprised or angry at the moment. He settled for both and plopped down back in his chair, pouting and glaring.

Heero arched at eyebrow at Duo's glare. "Hn." Not bad. He'd rate it a five. Five point five maybe. Didn't know Duo had it in him.

"_Sally Po has that whole hot Asian chick thing going on."_

Duo and Heero both gave a small nod in affirmation to that.

"_Catherine is a major hottie. Lady Une isn't too bad; the more recent one anyway. That whole split personality between a ditzy pacifist blonde and a conqueror of mankind was scary."_

They both gave a large nod to that.

_Nothing comes close to Dorothy though. War monger; I can live with that. But I don't care who you are, that double eyebrow thing of hers is downright creepy."_

"**Agreed."** Quatre, Duo and Heero all said at the same time.

"_Noin is pretty hot too. If she didn't have a thing for the girly man."_

"**Girly man?"** Quatre repeated softly on the radio. He was half afraid that the captive might be talking about him. He remembered getting called that in school.

Duo and Heero shared a look that said it all to them.

"Zechs." They replied in unison.

A faint sigh of relief passed over the radio, causing Duo to snort, trying to hold in his laughter. Poor Quatre.

Heero looked at the man on the screen with a new found respect. Anyone who could share that aspect of Zechs certainly had redeeming qualities. And since it seemed he had no intentions toward Relena…

"_What does she see in that guy? He has the personality of an ice cube and walks around like he has a pole up his rear end. As a general rule, no woman should date a guy prettier than herself."_

Yes. Heero decided. Most redeeming qualities.

"_I wonder what my odds are?"_

Duo turned to look at Heero with his jaw hanging loose like it was broken. "He's giving himself odds?" He half repeated the question with no small amount of skepticism.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Sally Po, doctor extraordinaire, walked through the office building to Lady Une's office. Wondering just what she was getting called into this time. Perhaps Duo had finally gotten himself shot by Heero, or caught by WuFie's katana.

Since she knew who the pilots were, their care fell directly into her hands. Secrets, confidentiality, need to know basis, call it what you want. She was the official pilots doctor.

She rather had to be. Anyone else reading the pilots medical records would be most bothered by what they saw. Heero, the genetic mystery thanks to Dr. J. Quatre, the test tube baby and partial clone of 29 previous sisters. Trowa, a stamina that defied human limitations…. Need she go on?

With a shrug and a sigh, she knocked on the door to Lady Une's office. Just knowing whatever she was wanted for now, it had something to do with the pilots.

"GIVE ME THAT!" A familiar and enraged voice echoed from the other side of the door.

Obviously unheard, Sally quietly opened the door and peered inside, wondering what happened now to piss off her CO. Mind you, Une was almost always angry these days but it had looked to calm down.

It only looked that way.

Lady Une stood over a defeated looking WuFei, clutching a piece of paper to her chest and looking as though she had just run a marathon. Trowa sat in the corner of the room, typing at a computer and as usual, looking oblivious to the rest of the world.

Well, the defeated looking WuFei was definitely something new.

"Did I come at a bad time?" She announced her presence, trying in vain not to laugh as her partner tried to regain his composure at her arrival.

"Sally." Une greeted in return and sat behind her desk before stuffing the paper she had grabbed from WuFei down her bra. She was confident that neither of the pilots would attempt to try and get it from her now without fear of losing a limb.

And for a brief moment the defeated looking expression of WuFei's face returned.

When this was over, Sally vowed to find out just what Lady Une would find so embarrassing that she would stick the paper there in order to hide it. It wasn't everyday that one saw the General so flustered.

"Sally, I'm sending you and Noin to Relena's mansion. The patient is awake and active. Proper interrogation will be at your disclosure."

Sally frowned and cocked her head to one side slightly. 'Proper?'

"More so, I want you to baby sit the pilots."

Lady Une lowered her head and sighed before explaining. "Unsurprisingly, Heero found the location of the suspect. Conveniently forgetting this man, by all appearances, seems to be running from whatever organization he took the information from; Heero proceeded to point his gun at the man and demand answers."

Sally was caught between wanting to laugh and wince all at once. "So any attempt at offering the man protection in return of information if pretty much shot?" She ventured.

Une lowered her head into her hands and sighed even deeper.

"I'll take that as a yes."


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: Feeling inspired! Oh yeah! I own it all baby! (In another universe that is not this one)

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Ty watched as the young man approached him shirtless with a small playful smile on his lips.

Closing the boundaries of personal space, he felt two hands fold in the small of his back pulling him forward into his chest.

Ever so slowly, their lips met…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scream reverberated throughout the halls of Relena's mansion.

Waking up from the dream, (or nightmare) Ty couldn't get out of the bed and run around panic stricken on account of his leg still being cuffed to the bed.

So he settled for hopping up and down on the bed panic stricken.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And screaming.

Quatre, Duo and Relena all ran into the room after having been woken up by the screams.

Fearing the worst, Quatre ran up to their spy/captive and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Ty! What's wrong?!" He exclaimed as he searched the man's emotions for any clue to his fear and panic.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Ty screamed louder.

Noin and Sally ran into the room. They'd only gotten there a half an hour ago. Already they could feel the situation deteriorating.

Pushing Quatre and Duo out of the way, Sally stood over the patient worriedly. She was told under no circumstances could they lose this guy, their only connection to this new unknown threat.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's wrong?! Can you tell me where it hurts?!" Sally exclaimed in between the man's screaming.

Looking over his body for any obvious or new signs of injury, she stopped when she felt his hands on her shoulders and pull her down.

It took her a moment to register that she was being kissed by a total stranger. After another moment he released her. Though she remained frozen in her bent over position over him and trying to figure out how or why that just happened.

Ty had a contemplative look on his face before he smiled and let his head fall back onto his bed pillow with a sigh.

"Oh, thank God." He muttered. "For a minute there I was afraid I'd stopped liking women."

The silence in the room was deafening…

…For all of five seconds.

SLAP!

Then all hell broke loose.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Noin sat down in a chair next to the bed an hour later with two cups of coffee in her hands. She looked at the young man in the bed who now sported a red hand print on his face in addition to his other injuries.

"Was there a reason for that earlier?" She asked curiously and offered him a cup of coffee.

Ty accepted it and sipped it gratefully. "Yep." He answered. At her expression he elaborated. "In high school did you ever have one of those dreams where you were in front of a school assembly and you suddenly realized you were naked and everyone was laughing at you?"

Noin considered it. While never having had a dream like that she could understand what he was saying. She nodded her head.

"Well, it was like that, only worse."

Noin frowned. She liked gossip and disliked not being privy to details.

"And no, you're not getting the details."

Now she pouted for a minute before perking up. "I'll get the details from you later."

Finishing his coffee, Ty thought about that strange comment for a moment before realization hit him like a brick. "Ow. I'm getting interrogated again, aren't I?"

She nodded. "Tell us where you got the information and we'll put you under protective custody and shorten your prison sentence."

Ty felt his jaw drop. Suddenly having Heero point a gun at you wasn't so intimidating. "You can't do that! And what information does everyone keep talking about?!"

"Don't play stupid with me." She poked a finger into his ribs. "You landed on a plane surrounded by pictures and information pertaining to Gundam."

He winced. Suddenly remembering all the Gundam Wing paraphernalia he had in his room before getting sucked into his computer screen.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Heero and Duo sat at the security consol watching as Noin interrogated the suspect. Relena had gone back to sleep after she finished frowning at the earlier incident.

Sally sat in the corner of the room blushing and glaring at the security monitor.

"Quatre?" Heero asked the silent question, speaking into the mike.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Quatre leaned against the outside wall of the room. Listening to the conversation and again trying to read the guys emotions. Admittedly it was a lot easier without Relena in the room.

"He knows where he got the information."

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Noin adjusted the ear piece, trying to make it look like she was just scratching her ear. Listening to Heero from the security room and Quatre outside the room, she trusted Quatre's empathy.

"This sounds like a set up." Ty finally spoke up as he carefully considered his options. "You've got nothing on me. No proof that the information came from me. And even if you did there's no law that says I can't have said information. Lots of different military factions had information on Gundam during the war."

"**Damn."** Heero cursed into the comm. system.

"**What is it Heero?"** Quatre asked.

"**He's right. The laws and punishments regarding espionage are lax with everyone pushing for more peaceful solutions. Its something I've brought up to Lady Une before. We need concrete evidence. We need a confession."** Heero grudgingly admitted.

"Damn." Noin echoed Heero's sentiment.

Ty smirked, thankful that he'd guessed right. And thankful he wasn't going to prison. He faltered when Noin smirked back at him.

"Your right." She admitted to him. "We've got nothing on you; nothing at all. As a point of fact, according to our sources, you don't exist at all. And since you don't legally exist, we can do whatever we want with you."

"Crap." He paled slightly. "Maybe we can work a deal here? Just give me two things." Besides, he really needed to do something about this story. It felt like he'd been injured and it bed for years now.

Noin narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm listening."

He held up a finger. "Don't send me to prison…"

She frowned. "That depends on your involvement in all of this. But I can promise you leeway if you agree to cooperate."

Ty nodded his head in acceptance and held up a second finger. "Let me out of this room!" He shook his two fingers at her. "Give me a little bit of freedom! I don't care if I'm surrounded by armed guard, hell, Heero can point his gun at me but let me out of this room!"

"**No."** Heero replied automatically in response.

Noin gave a small snort. "Granted, assuming you give us something now, some information to go on as proof that you aren't trying to pull anything."

Ty panicked slightly. If he took too long replying they might suspect him of lying. And he briefly wondered what all got pulled into his computer. Not everything in his room was Gundam related.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Lady Une walked back into her office, carrying lunch for herself and the other two pilots. Since they'd found the disc yesterday, Trowa had been at work creating a program that would run whatever it was.

Setting the lunch on her desk, she looked at WuFei who was now sitting in her chair with all the papers in stacks around him. Looking at them each more carefully in turn.

"What are you doing?" She asked, peering over his shoulder.

"Organizing and categorizing." He replied, and began making a new pile, taking certain pages from other piles into the new one. "Something is slightly off about some of this information. It doesn't fit."

Lady Une pointed to a small pile of profiled individuals with no specified relation to Gundam or any organization. "Like these people?"

WuFei nodded. "More non existents or possibly aliases." He picked up an example. "Kagome Higurashi, a shrine maiden in Japan. The file speaks of 'demons' and a 'bone eaters well.' It might be referring to a project or maybe an experiment. Who knows? We've run a photo comparison and come up with nothing."

She nodded. "Is that a photo of an eighteen wheeler?"

WuFei nodded his head again. "I haven't yet figured out why it was in all this mess. I'm not yet willing to admit there's not a connection."

Une took the printed photo from him and frowned as she held it. "This one is awfully heavy in comparison to the other printed papers. I think you have a few pages stuck together." After a lot of frustration (and don't you hate it when pages to that?) she pulled the three pages apart.

WuFei stood up and looked at the pages as she went through them in succession. Both of their eyes grew very wide very quickly. "Did that just show an eighteen wheeler transform into a small mobile suit?" Une asked with a small voice. WuFei gave a tiny nod.

**HONK! HONK!**

It was with paranoid thoughts and bloodshot eyes that they looked though the widow blinds of her office and to the eighteen wheelers that were delivering food to the cafeteria across the street.


End file.
